Editing Template:Pun Generator

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<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:xx-large"><big><big>'''Pun Generator'''</big></big></span></div>
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{{#switch:{{#expr:({{NUMBEROFEDITS:R}} mod 164<!-- NOTE: If you add any more puns, change the number to the left of this comment (immediately after mod) to the last pun's number -->) + 1}}
|1 = Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
|2 = Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
|3 = To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
|4 = What do you get if you throw a piano down a mineshaft? A-flat minor. What do you get if you throw a piano into an army camp? A-flat major.
|5 = Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
|6 = What happened when the cow tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction.
|7 = What do you get if you cross a bullet and a tree with no leaves? A cartridge in a bare tree.
|8 = Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
|9 = Two nuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
|10 = I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn't trained.
|11 = There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different jokes hoping at least one of them would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
|12 = What do you get when you dump boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies.
|13 = A new type of broom came out, and it's sweeping the nation.
|14 = I used to work in a helium factory, but I left. No-one's speaking to me in that tone of voice.
|15 = {{ubl|What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue?|You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.|Wait, what about the glue?|I knew you'd get stuck on that one.}}
|16 = Did you hear about the little moron who ran into the screen door? He strained himself.
|17 = A barista was latte for work and had to endure mochary.
|18 = A backward poet writes inverse.
|19 = A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
|20 = A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
|21 = A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumour.
|22 = A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. An optimist's is b-positive.
|23 = A rubber band pistol was confiscated from calculus class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
|24 = Acupuncture is a jab well done.
|25 = A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
|26 = Two cats are swimming across a river. One is called One-two-three cat, the other is called Un-deux-trois cat. Which cat survives? One-two-three cat, because un deux trois quatre cinq.
|27 = You can't run through a campground. You can only ran, because it's past tents.
|28 = Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
|29 = Every calendar's days are numbered.
|30 = He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
|31 = He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
|32 = I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
|33 = I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
|34 = I used to be a trapeze artist, but they let me go.
|35 = I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
|36 = I used to be a banker, but lost interest.
|37 = I used to be a baker, but I didn't make enough dough.
|38 = Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
|39 = Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
|40 = The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
|41 = The man who fell into the upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
|42 = The man who withstood mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
|43 = The roundest knight at King Arthur's table was Sir Cumference. He gained his size from eating too much pi.
|44 = It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
|45 = I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.
|46 = There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
|47 = Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
|48 = Pencil sharpeners have a tough life—they live off tips.
|49 = If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.
|50 = He said I was average, but he was just being mean.
|51 = He tried to catch a cloud, but he mist.
|52 = A boy once got hit by a can of soda.  He was lucky it was a soft drink.
|53 = I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
|54 = I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
|55 = I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
|56 = Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
|57 = A criminal's best asset is his lie ability.
|58 = I have an eating disorder; I'm about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
|59 = I used to be a postman, but I got the sack.
|60 = I tried searching the Internet for 202×2. Every result I checked gave me a 404.
|61 = That was a poor joke about infinity - it didn't have an ending.
|62 = My friend was fired from his job at the road department for stealing. I have to say I saw it coming. The last time I was at his house all the signs were there.
|63 = A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
|64 = A man bet a butcher $50 that he couldn't reach the cuts of meat on the top shelf. "No deal," said the butcher. "The steaks are too high".
|65 = A man rushes into a doctor's office shouting, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responds, "Now settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
|66 = A slogan for birth control pills: "Don't kid yourself".
|67 = Bunch of blokes have a punch-up in a churchyard. They were hauled in front of the judge, who condemned their actions as a grave offense.
|68 = The telephone proposed to his girlfriend today—he gave her a ring.
|69 = I was planning to visit Santiago today, but it's too Chile.
|70 = When William joined the army he disliked the phrase "Fire at Will!"
|71 = Person 1: "Corals always get stressed. If I'm a coral I would be stressed to death."
Person 2: "What do corals even get stressed on?"
Person 1: "Current events."
|72 = A boy eats a lemon slice. He squints his face. His father says "Don't give me a sour look".
|73 = Piano is not my forte.
|74 = I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
|75 = She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
|76 = What did the triangle say to the circle? You're pointless. How did the circle respond? That's how I roll.
|77 = What is the sound of hands-free texting?
|78 = I got my hair highlighted because I thought some strands were more important than others.
|79 = A man illegally cut down a tree and was arrested by the Special Branch. He got a fir trial.
|80 = What did one boat say to the other? "Are you up for a little row-mance?"
|83 = Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.
|84 = I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
|85 = I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
|88 = Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the Nobel Prize.
|89 = My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate.
|90 = Don't you hate insect puns? They really bug me. 
|91 = What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? Guardians of the Galaxy.
|92 = I've heard about a scarecrow that won a prize. It was totally outstanding in its field.
|93 = Can February March? No, but April May.
|94 = A patient bursts into a doctor's office, "Doctor, I believe I'm a deck of cards!" 
The doctor calmly replies, "Go sit in the waiting room, please, I'll be dealing with you later."
|95 = A piece of string walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve bits of string." The piece of string walks out, brushes his hair, and walks back in. "Are you the same bit of string that was in here a minute ago?", asks the barman. The string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
|96 = Why don't all couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.
|97 = When I was young, I used to think facial hair looked really stupid, but then it grew on me.
|98 = They found a hole in the wall of the women's soccer team changing rooms. The police are looking into it.
|99 = Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make up everything!
|100 = What do you receive when you ask a lemon for help? Lemonaid.
|101 = What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.
|102 = What is a typical diet of a sea monster? Fish and ships.
|103 = A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.
|104 = What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper? Ruff!
|105 = Where should a dog go when it's lost its tail? A retail store.
|107 = Why don't programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.
|108 = A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
|109 = When the musician got in a car accident, his guitar was destroyed. The accident was a Fender bender.
|110 = 	What do dogs do after they finish obedience school? They get their masters.
|111 = What is the definition of an archaeologist? Someone whose career lies in ruins.
|113 = Some people make a career out of cutting beautiful pictures into pieces. It's a puzzle to me. 
|114 = Golf is a lot like taxes - you drive hard to get to the green and end up in the hole.
|115 = The best place for a date is at the top of a large plateau, because plateaus are the highest form of flattery. 
|116 = Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
|117 = Eagles are not used in bird flu research. It would be illegal.
|118 = What do you call a snobbish criminal going down stairs? A condescending con descending. 
|119 = Have you heard the joke about how high Trump's wall is? It's hilarious, I'm still trying to get over it! 
|120 = An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German walk into a bar and ignore the barman, even when he asks them what they want. He waves his hands and angrily asks, "Do you see me here?" They each reply. "Yes." "Oui." "Si." "Ja."
|121 = What happened when a feline caused an earthquake? A Cataclysm. 
|122 = I used to go fishing with Skrillex, but he kept dropping the bass. 
|123 = How do you make antifreeze? Take her blanket. 
|124 = "Pickup artists" and "garbage men" should really switch names with each other.
|125 = The worst page in the entire dictionary. It has content that is disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
|126 = There were 57 sheep loose in the paddock, but once the farmer rounded them up, he had 60. 
|127 = How do you drown a hipster? Throw him into the mainstream. 
|128 = I was going to tell you a joke about a blunt arrow but really there is no point.
|129 = Never give your uncle an anteater.
|130 = Would a cardboard belt be a waist of paper?
|131 = The baker's business burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
|132 = I don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.
|133 = A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
|134 = What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
|135 = An experienced carpenter will always nail it, but the new guy will always screw everything up.
|136 = Ban pre-shredded cheese, let's make America grate again!
|137 = Where do cavemen store their weapons? In the clubhouse.
|138 = Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they're having trouble installing windows.
|139 = How do letters ever get to the recipient? The envelopes, after all, are stationery.
|141 = When is a door not a door? When it's ajar. 
|142 = Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.
|143 = I thought about opening a bakery downtown, but I couldn't raise the dough.
|144 = Why does [[Waldo (character)|Wally]] wear stripes? So that he isn't spotted.
|145 = How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool.
|146 = How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
|147 = Why do ships in the Swedish Navy have barcodes on them? When they dock they can Scandinavian.
|148 = You know the worst thing about ancient orators? They have a tendency to Babylon.
|149 = The local pet store had a bird contest; no perches necessary.
|150 = I read an advertisement for cemetery plots; I thought, that's the last thing I need.
|151 = A neutron walks into a bar and asks the proton bartender, "How much for a drink?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge." The neutron says, "Are you sure?" and the proton says, "I'm positive." 
|152 = Someone told me my clothes were gay. I said, "I know. They came out of the closet this morning."
|153 = Why do sneaky rogue players prefer leather armour? Because it's made of hide. 
|154 = Why is it a bad idea to fight with a broken sword? It's pointless. 
|155 = What type of boat is sailed by vampires? A blood vessel. 
|156 = After an explosion at the cheese factory, all that was left was ''de brie''.
|157 = Why did the banana visit the doctor? He wasn't peeling well. 
|158 = Chemical element puns are hard to pull off; most of them are bad, and the only good ones Argon. 
|159 = Two weevils lived in a biscuit. One left and became a rich, famous film star. The other stayed where he was and became known as the lesser of the two weevils. 
|160 = What made the marine biologist so happy? He found his porpoise. 
|161 = What did the cow say to her calf at the end of the day? It's pasture bedtime. 
|162 = Why did the cowboy get a dachshund? Because someone told him to get a long little doggie. 
|163 = How did the [[tau neutrino]] catch a ride on the Large Hadron Collider? It just lepton. 
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<poem> <span class="plainlinks">[{{fullurl:{{FULLPAGENAME}}|action=purge}}<span style="padding:3px 8px; border-radius:5px; background:#fcfcfc; background-image:linear-gradient(to bottom, #fcfcfc, #dfdfdf); border:1px solid #555;"><span style="color:black">{{{Text|<span style="font-size:small">GENERATE NEW PUN</span>}}}</span></span>]</span>
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</div><noinclude>{{doc|content=

'''PunGenerator''' is an example usage of the #switch ParserFunction extension and provides alternatives based on the value of the test string. For more information, see [[Help:Magic_words#Conditional_expressions|conditional expressions]] and the [[mw:Help:Extension:ParserFunctions|extension documentation page]].


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